What's the right type of exercise for you?

Very simply, the right type of exercise for you is the type that you want to repeat.

People spend a lot of time talking about the new hottest fitness trend that is the newest best way to get fit fast.

But the reality is that trends don't really matter in the big picture because people are most likely to repeat something they enjoy either during or after.

We all have very different reasons for liking different types of exercise and no one can really tell you what's best for you.

I can advise clients as to what type of exercise is most likely to help them achieve their goals. Achieving goals can be very motivating for sure. But unless you get more from your exercise than just fitness, then you aren't likely to stick with it.

When I work with clients, I always try to make a compromise between what people like and what I think is best for their bodies. Most of the time, these two things intersect!

Whatever brings you joy and peace during or after a workout is normally an excellent sign that you're on the right track. Sometimes even just an environment can be the determinant of this joy and peace.

So follow your inner guru and do what you love to do because you're most likely to feel great and get fit repeating repeating repeating and staying consistent with some type of movement.

Possible reasons why you can't get 'unstuck'

We teach what we need to learn. So this post comes from a humble place of knowing how hard it can be to get unstuck in different areas in our lives. My work has been about helping people get unstuck when it comes to exercise and self-care. My personal work has been about learning to let go of the past and replace negative coping strategies with more positive ones that are true to who I truly am.

Today in my master level of Reiki training, we talked a bit about why some people can make shifts when we work on them and why others can't. Some people seem more stuck then others. And in some areas of my own life, I feel more stuck then others.

But what I realize is that when we get so focused on our struggles and less focused on building a true sense of who we really are, we can start BECOMING our struggles. Our identities become intertwined with what our struggles have been.

We can become a number of things that we can confuse with our true essence. Our pain and our struggles are NOT who we are. They are what have shaped us, helped us grow or made us feel pain and suffering but they are not who we truly are. We each have our unique essence and gifts we come into this world with that will always be a part of us. And we can use the things that have happened in our lives to either break us and define us or to help us learn about who we really are: our strengths, our ability to overcome, our ability to love and feel compassion for self and others.

We can start to refer to ourselves with labels that can confuse this fact. I know all too well!

We can start defining ourselves by what we have survived instead. We can let our suffering start to become our identity instead of experiences we have gone through.

In doing so, we don't stay open to the possibilities that something is truly behind us. We keep ourselves stuck in defining our identity based on these struggles. We are so much more than that, each of us. We are capable of so much love and the human spirit is so strong that we don't need these experiences to become who we are. I don't negate the need to heal from these experiences and to face them head on, but I think it's important to let go when it's time to let go.

THE TRICKY PART IS THAT IF WE'VE LET OUR SELF IDENTITY BECOME WHAT OUR TRAUMA OR STRUGGLES HAVE BEEN, THEN WE CAN UNCONSCIOUSLY FEAR THAT WE WILL BE LEFT WITH NO SELF IDENTITY AT ALL. WITHOUT OUR STRUGGLES FILLING THE SPACE WHERE A TRUE SELF IDENTITY SHOULD BE, WE MIGHT BE AFRAID OF BEING LEFT NOT KNOWING HOW TO DEFINE OURSELVES.

If you are stuck thinking you are someone who struggles with weight and always has, you might be locking yourself into the belief that this is indeed who you are instead of realizing that the experiences that drove you to overeat no longer exist.

If you are stuck thinking that you are a workaholic that can't find time to take care of yourself, then this will always be the truth until you realize that this has just been a coping strategy or unhealthy choice that is not you, but merely a behaviour.

If you believe you are damaged from your inadequate parenting or from suffering abuse, you don't leave the possibility that this is what happened to you and that you are not in fact doomed to be damaged the rest of your life.

I could go on and on.

Peace to everyone who needs help letting go and getting unstuck. I'm sure everyone can relate to this feeling. Believe you are more than what has happened to you!

The sure fire way to gain weight over the holidays

I would say that manifesting something we really don't want in our lives is really about becoming unconscious, falling asleep at the wheel, dialing down our self-awareness and letting negative coping behaviours replace healthier ones.

Gaining weight over the holidays isn't really about how much food there is around. It's about using the holidays as an excuse to throw self-care out the window. Often times, people drop any fitness routines they might have in place and sometimes even overeat to the point of self-disgust.

Why?

Yes it's a busier time of year for many people but that would imply we have less time to put stuff in our mouths. The real issue is that we have been programmed to think the holidays are a beautiful time filled with joy, abundance, meaningful time with family and friends. And when we are faced with the truth that the holidays can often be a complicated or mixed emotional time for anyone with inadequate parenting or living in complicated family make ups or even with teenagers in the house, we reach for some type of comfort.

I'm not saying this is the case for everyone but I've generally found that people who turn to food for comfort are using food as a tool to repress something. For those who had wonderful childhoods and just like to overeat over the holidays, this blog post might not be for you. Unless of course, you haven't embraced the fact that no one's life is without struggle and no childhood is 'perfect'.

Like many of you, I have very mixed memories of Christmas. Some wonderful and some not so wonderful. I remember noticing that my parents became particularly more stressed over the holidays and there were more emotional outbursts which I didn't really 'get' as a child. It's like Christmas can bring back to life these times in my childhood.

When routines are thrown out the window, it can be more difficult trying to stay on track with what is truly important to us like perhaps not gaining weight again over the holidays.

But I do think we can practice getting better at taking really good care of ourselves despite the holidays!

We can enjoy treats but not to excess. We can rejoice in the abundance of food and drink but we need to know when we start using these two things like any other addictive substance.

So if you don't want to gain weight over the holidays, try to stay wide awake! In so doing, we can enjoy the joyful moment more fully and let those emotions fill us up and we can also face any memories that need a more objective view, from a place of self-compassion and love.

Maybe this is the time in your life you can start with those few minutes of daily meditation you've been meaning to do. Those few minutes can go a long way into keeping you conscious!

Changing your self-improvement paradigm

For most of my adult life, I've equated moving forward in my life with taking action. I always thought that if I was taking action of some sort to improve my life, then chances were that things were going to get better all the time. As I live through more life experience, I see that this isn't always the case.

I'm an action oriented person and find it hard to procrastinate or, as I like to see it now, fight an impulse to be the way I've always been hummingbird like in my energy.

The whole paradigm of thinking we should always be focused on improving ourselves and moving forward can in fact take us in the exact opposite direction because we are losing site of the bigger picture. Self improvement may start feeling like another 'job' instead of a joy and nothing inside of us has really shifted. We might even approach self-improvement with the same type A mentality that got us into trouble in the first place.

One thing I've noticed about people who find it hard to fit in self-care including regular exercise are in a state of constant busy-ness. They are so busy doing something that they don't even notice the proverbial hamster wheel they are on. They are in the constant state of having to do something that they build blinders that stop them from having any perspective and take them away from experiencing the beauty in life as it happens.

For example, "I'm in a constant state of doing but is this even the way I want my life to be?"

Or, "I'm so busy all the time, am I even experiencing my life as it unfolds or am I waiting to start experience all the riches in life until a later date when I'm not so busy?"

The tragedy of it all is that life is so fragile. We don't know when it will be our time to go. And we all will have regrets. But right at this moment we can start to live like we have a short time to live and this will make us slow down, taste our food, snuggle our kids, love our loved ones even more and make time for precious friends.

And I've noticed that this busy-ness approach to life extends into most people's paradigms about self improvement. We can get really busy trying to make ourselves better or create new opportunities or get fit or whatever it is we think we should do to improve our lives.

What I've found (and I'm not suggesting I've mastered it at all!) is that the more I find ways to slow down, stop rushing everywhere and focus on the fact I've got a finite amount of time on this planet, I am making more progress in improving my life than I ever have before in the same amount of time.

If we don't make space for new things in our lives because our lives are just so jammed, then the universe can't send it to us. If we don't have any time to let new thoughts or realizations into our beings, then we will stay stuck in our never ending hamster wheel.

Authenticity with self and others: how to start making changes within to manifest changes in our bodies

Without knowing and accepting where we are now, it's very hard to start shifting our states. Sometimes this means accepting our imperfect selves as we are at any given moment. Trying to deny pain, struggle and disappointment with our life circumstances or our internal worlds will stifle true lasting change. How do you know where you're going if you don't know where you're starting point is?

In order to move forward, we need to be brutally honest with ourselves about where we are right now.

No glossing over of anything.

I try to create an environment at Urbanfitt where people can just be. Either feeling like shite or feeling stuck or frustrated or exhausted or whatever it may be. Too much of our lives are spent denying how we truly are feeling and this creates a state of tension in us. Getting to a state of relaxation and peace means letting go of resistance of the way we are in the moment. We can strengthen our ability to be authentic with ourselves in small ways every day.

For example, how many times has someone asked you how you're doing and you straight out lie about having a shitty day or week or struggling with relationship challenges or your kids etc. This denial or lie moves you away from the possibility for transforming your current state.

So often, people come in for a training session or now Reiki session feeling low energy or stuck or blah. When they admit how they are truly feeling we have our starting point. We can decide together what might help move them from this state into a more energetically elevated state. But if my clients pretended that they were feeling great or even ok when they weren't, a barrier or defense would go up in them turning them into a fortress of protected energy.

We are better prepared to find strategies or choose behaviours to help ourselves shift into a more positive state when we fully embrace where we currently are. Not always an easy thing to do when we are just trying to get everything we need to get done in a day.

But our chosen actions that arise out of being authentic with ourselves will be a more specific 'treatment' so to speak to move us out of low vibration.

So next time someone who truly cares about you asks how you're doing, keep it real. Together in our interdependence we can help each other feel better.

The more we practice this authenticity with ourselves, the more we learn to give our bodies and beings what they need to get into a more positive space. Over time, the more we learn to feed our bodies with what they authentically need, the less we will tend to struggle with obesity, illness and just plain blahs.

Repairing holes in our containers

As we mature emotionally, train to build Chi, and learn to listen to our inner most truths, we can strengthen our containers, that is, our ability to handle a lot of different stuff in a centered and healthy way.

But there are times when anyone can feel like they are leaking out energy. Little things that normally wouldn't annoy us affect us more. We can find there are days we are more emotionally reactive and then create more suffering for ourselves as a result. It's like we have a hole in our container. Our ability to hold and deal with all the things life throws at us feels impaired.

I see many clients on days like this, when they are just trying to get through the day, get everything they need to get done done and are like raw nerves.

We are energetically depleted on these days and need to find some immediate tools for repairing our containers so we don't make things that might be hard even harder. But should we exercise on these days?

Yes!

But instead of working out in a traditional way, we need to use movement like medicine to repair the leak in our energetic field and for those of you who don't buy into this energy stuff, you can look at it as getting back into physical and emotional balance.

When we feel more vulnerable, exercise or movement that leaves us more depleted creates more leakage and less balance.

My advice to help repair?

Start your workout with joint mobility exercises that let you feel where you might be unusually tight particularly in the upper body shoulder neck area. Use this time to bring your breath down into your belly and start tuning in to your being with deep breathing.

Pick a first exercise that forces you to balance and centre your energy. BOSU standing exercises, yoga balance postures, anything that forces you to come into the present and find your balance. If you can't find your balance when you normally can even after trying for a few minutes, then you should do a more restorative workout for that day. Take it easy. Work on core, postural, prehab, rehab exercises.

If you can easily find your balance, then standing full body compound exercises that require keen concentration and coordination are a great way to build chi and balance your energy. For example, walking lunges with overhead press, reverse lunges with a wood chop, cable rotational exercises, single leg deadlifts. You get the drift.

Whatever you choose to do, you should observe your energy while working out. If you feel a lightness and buoyant feeling overcoming you, you're on the right track! If you feel more exhausted and spaced out, then ease up and come back to your breathing, get yourself grounded again.

Finish your workout with your go-to restorative things like rolling, stretching etc. and then maybe try a 3 minute grounding meditation. Sit cross legged or in a chair and place your hands face down on your legs. Feel yourself sinking into the earth, feel gravity holding you there. For a few minutes, just feel your connection to earth.

So when you feel you have a leaky container, movement can be the best medicine for repairing a leak. But don't do exercise that allows you to tune out or turn your brain off. No auto-pilot exercise.

The difference between fitness for health vs. fitness for vanity

Can't say I've ever wanted to work in a studio that focuses on marketing their services towards making people look better above anything else, where the culture of the place is lacking in true substance. Although I've been guilty of trying to tap into this market at more desperate times with slogans like "want to look good naked", I found such practice always led me away from my true purpose.

The difference between fitness for health vs. fitness for vanity is pretty simple:

In training for health, we use exercise like medicine. We exercise in a way on any given day with a flexible approach so that we are giving our bodies exactly what they need in the moment. Exercise is not depleting and works to make our immune systems stronger, our sleep better quality, calms our nervous system and helps us also find a state of relaxation and peace of mind. We expect to feel energized after a workout, not like crashing on a couch. We look at exercise as a way to build chi, not a way to look better. If we have the energy to push ourselves harder than usual and our intuition is pointing us in this direction we go for it. If we feel depleted and our body feels leaden and heavier than usual, we let go of plans for an intense workout and work in a more restorative way. And in so doing, we will improve our vitality which will improve the way we look in the end anyway. It's easier to stay the course when choosing to focus on health because their is no end goal. It is a way of being. Focusing on physical appearance while ignoring the spiritual and emotional issues we struggle with is not about health and is dysfunctional.

In training for vanity we set goals based on an external appearance. A certain size waist, bicep circumference, dress size. The underlying focus is that "life will be better when I achieve these goals". I find that people who pursue fitness from this perspective don't stay the course because they aren't moving in a conscious way in alignment with their deepest selves. There's a shorter term end goal. Once someone achieves this goal, then what? Will they ever be happy with the way they look? Or will there be something else to work on. We might find ourselves ignoring signals from our bodies to tell us to change course. Injuries, over training, constant colds or illnesses might hit us but we ignore our body telling us we aren't helping it and instead, stay they course with an original plan that isn't actually making us healthier. The typical way men train for vanity is in overdoing chest work to compromise upper body structural balance possibly leading to shoulder injury. The typical way women train for vanity is in avoiding muscle building activities or going on heavily restrictive diets that are nutritionally insufficient. I could name a plethora of fitness gurus who tap into people's desire for this type of fitness but will bite my tongue.

So just some thoughts I thought I'd share. I've been in both camps and have decided to choose the first option for both myself, for the type of messaging I want to put out into the universe and for the way I want to work with my clients.