Changing your self-improvement paradigm

For most of my adult life, I've equated moving forward in my life with taking action. I always thought that if I was taking action of some sort to improve my life, then chances were that things were going to get better all the time. As I live through more life experience, I see that this isn't always the case.

I'm an action oriented person and find it hard to procrastinate or, as I like to see it now, fight an impulse to be the way I've always been hummingbird like in my energy.

The whole paradigm of thinking we should always be focused on improving ourselves and moving forward can in fact take us in the exact opposite direction because we are losing site of the bigger picture. Self improvement may start feeling like another 'job' instead of a joy and nothing inside of us has really shifted. We might even approach self-improvement with the same type A mentality that got us into trouble in the first place.

One thing I've noticed about people who find it hard to fit in self-care including regular exercise are in a state of constant busy-ness. They are so busy doing something that they don't even notice the proverbial hamster wheel they are on. They are in the constant state of having to do something that they build blinders that stop them from having any perspective and take them away from experiencing the beauty in life as it happens.

For example, "I'm in a constant state of doing but is this even the way I want my life to be?"

Or, "I'm so busy all the time, am I even experiencing my life as it unfolds or am I waiting to start experience all the riches in life until a later date when I'm not so busy?"

The tragedy of it all is that life is so fragile. We don't know when it will be our time to go. And we all will have regrets. But right at this moment we can start to live like we have a short time to live and this will make us slow down, taste our food, snuggle our kids, love our loved ones even more and make time for precious friends.

And I've noticed that this busy-ness approach to life extends into most people's paradigms about self improvement. We can get really busy trying to make ourselves better or create new opportunities or get fit or whatever it is we think we should do to improve our lives.

What I've found (and I'm not suggesting I've mastered it at all!) is that the more I find ways to slow down, stop rushing everywhere and focus on the fact I've got a finite amount of time on this planet, I am making more progress in improving my life than I ever have before in the same amount of time.

If we don't make space for new things in our lives because our lives are just so jammed, then the universe can't send it to us. If we don't have any time to let new thoughts or realizations into our beings, then we will stay stuck in our never ending hamster wheel.